Do your loved ones support your interests in music?

[Will]

By loved ones,I am referring to your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Mine is pretty complicated.

She's graded in piano,plays the electric guitar too.She supported me at first when I started playing.Said she won't stop me from doing what I like.When she entered university,and pretty much gave up everything related to music,except listening to it.I guess studying in uni is tiring,I understand.

And now....she doesn't seem to be so supportive of me playing anymore.It seems that she wants me to give it up in order to bond better with her,but she's not saying it.

I am in a dilemma now.

Torn between my girlfriend and my love for music...

Any advice for my case?

What's your story like?

 

[sleepykitty]

I'm single now, but a couple of months back while I was attached, there was no dilemma with my then girlfriend about me an my music. In fact she was pretty neutral about it, neither supportive nor discouraging.

I think your girlfriend thinks that your time playing guitar should be spent on more 'worthwhile' activitives with her instead. I guess you have to tell her that she and music are two separate entities; that doing one will not affect the other.

But then if she drops you the ultimatum, take my advise and choose music

 

[Zarin]

yea, she does support me in my music. even though she doesnt really like loud music, she still comes down to my gigs to support my band. BUT she doesnt like me talking about my band, guitars and rock music to her. i maybe i suggest u dun talk about any topic related to music to her?? or maybe talk abit also can. thats wat i do.

 

[crazyguy106]

Hmmm... As for me my girlfriend loves music as well so she is actually envious that I have a passion for music and that I actually learn and play instruments.

What I'd realised for quite a while, when I was in army was that when I didn't have any motivation or drive or any kind of passion that was driving me to improve and keep growing the relationship was actually very strained and there were quite a lot of problems in the relationship during that time.

Girls like guys with an adventure, whether it is music, sports, or art. If you lose your music you might just lose your identity. Perhaps you can talk to her about what she dislikes about you playing music. I think for you the main issue is that you don't spend enough time with her when you're doing your music?

Get her involved if possible. Get her as involved and as interested as she was about music last time and just try to connect with her. Do you two have a common genre that you like? A common artiste or song that both of you like? Go practise it and sing/perform it for her. =) A girl would always love that. I'm in uni myself and I haven't given up on my music at all... So perhaps you can encourage her to take it up again just as a hobby and stress relieve... Might help her and yourself a lot in the long run. =D

And if it's about spending time with her, do notice the ratio of the amount of time you spend with her compared to music. I once jokingly told my girlfriend that I love her as much as I love music, and she found it an honour. Haha. =D

It's all about compromise and understanding and bringing her on your little "adventure" in music, and things will flow even better than before.

Hope this helps...

 

[subversion]

my spouse, definitely...

 

[MadWerewolfBoy]

If you are refering loved ones as parents. Well, sad case for me... Very sad indeed! =D

 

[sshaz-ni]

Woah. All so lucky. I dont have gf. Hahahaha. HAHA

 

[Dime]

you should spent more time with her.the value between the person you love and music is huge.music can be done anytime.you lose date with music its easy to catch up again but relationship?like you said uni life is tiring.you be her remedy then.

 

[dtrulez38]

^^

agreed...she doesn't want to listen to you talking bout ur music n your band maybe, just maybe, coz you talk bout it too much n she feels that music > her to you...

music doesn't leave you, you'll always be able to catch it again...but once your loved one leaves you, it's totally a different story...

anyway...weigh it yourself...

 

[Zarin]

^^

agreed...she doesn't want to listen to you talking bout ur music n your band maybe, just maybe, coz you talk bout it too much n she feels that music > her to you...

music doesn't leave you, you'll always be able to catch it again...but once your loved one leaves you, it's totally a different story...

anyway...weigh it yourself...

i SOOO agree on that..maybe dun put music as 1st priority la, so dun always spend too much time on ur music. u can do that anytime.

 

[fuzztremecho]

known my gf (now wife and minister of finance and home affairs) me-(minister of labour and defence) since 1994.
have been supporting my passion in guitar and music since then, when the time u still can gig weekly at ol' WTC.

the thing is, I have learnt to keep the LOVE strong and alive between me n her is that there must be understanding and compromise.
for example..my wife does not understand metal but almost everybody can appreciate a good pop song, be it britney spears, christina etc...

what i did was learn a few pop tunes and played it for her at home or jamming sessions..
even did an instrumental version of Always-bon jovi, for her during my wedding day...
compromise bro...
believe me, i was REWARDED handsomely...hehehehe

can take a look at my sig below...that 2 gals were worth it...

 

[fgl]

my wife has grade 8 piano and teaches music and choir

she's into jazz and classical

I'm not..

we only performed together twice in the past - both times on TV

after that ... never again.

We also have seperate CD racks / collection

 

[panz3rr]

once you've found a girl/guy who is supportive of whatever you do in life, be it music, arts, gambling, whatever lah. That is the person you would want to end up with. Not someone who puts you down and not allow you to be what you want to be.

My parents love music, but sadly they anti-metal. basket!

 

[im-jk]

My parents love music, but sadly they anti-metal. basket!

hahahah they think its 'noisy' is it?
or too 'evil' ?

 

[visa]

my dad smashed the first bass that i bought with my own money

my ex girlfriend broke up with me also

;(

*emo emo*

 

[Zarin]

wow..visa..u must be damn depressed at that period of time huh? well, my story is the total opposite of urs dude. my dad bought me a guitar. my gf bought a guitar for me too. oh and..my dad like's some of slipknot and system of a down music..COOL SIA...haha but he very picky la..only some he likes.weird.LOL

 

[fiqthefallen]

LOL... metal as noisy or evil to your parent's ears??

my parents dont really support me playing music as well, but the odd thing is that my dad had a band and used to listen to heavy metal/hair metal bands back in his heyday.

and when i wanted to buy my first elec, my mum insisted me not to buy, but my dad just 'relac one korner'...

 

[fiqthefallen]

my gf bought a guitar for me too.

wow.....

get it repainted with both your names/faces on a heart on your guitar man... hahaha

 

[visa]

my ex stole my pick!

 

[fgl]

my dad smashed the first bass that i bought with my own money

my ex girlfriend broke up with me also

;(

*emo emo*

get your girl to buy u a new bass and then you break up with your dad???

ok ok ,... joking ...